Advice: Sitting Ducks

Dear Meankitty,

Is there a reason why my cat chooses to attack my arm or face while I am sleeping? I won’t be moving and all of a sudden she jumps on the bed and attacks my arm and face and I wind up with bad punctures on my arms, thankfully not on my face. Then she just runs under the bed. Other than this, she’s a good cat…but it seems to happen once every few days and I’m scared she will try this on the upcoming baby! What do I do?

Signed,
Gelibeanr

***

Dear Gelibeanr,

It’s because you’re a sitting duck and duck tastes gooooood. Mmmm, duck.

Sincerely,
MK

PS: We don’t have any advice on how to integrate cats & babies until the twain actually meet. Big D and I are exceptionally well-mannered with the small slaves. The food/door opening slave is subject to much more “loving attention” than a baby. Usually cats are pretty tolerant of pink things until the pink things start eating their food and pulling their tails. Then, if the human parent won’t teach the pink thing not to do that, the cat WILL.

PPS: If you’re thinking of getting rid of your cat for this or that reason, we probably don’t want to hear about it.

PPPS: Seriously.

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One Response to “Advice: Sitting Ducks”

  1. Sharon says:

    The cat attacks you while you’re asleep because she is bored. She’s not likely to do that with the baby as the baby won’t respond in the interesting way you do, i.e., scream, throw a pillow, shout “bad kitty,” etc. I suggest that you occupy your bored cat by getting her a new kitten. She’ll be much too taken up with being pestered (and exhausted) by the kitten to bother you any more. And if you think something that small can’t possibly be so exhausting, I take it your baby hasn’t arrived yet.