Archive for January, 2011

Gallery: Winston (3)

Thursday, January 20th, 2011

Name: Winston (3)
Location: Unknown

Winston is a meankitty

*singing* "I was blinded by the light! So I dropped a deuce and made some odor in the night!"

What makes Winston so mean?

Someone abandoned this little sweetie at the local fire station. He was tiny and charming and irresistible. Of course, we gave him a home. While he has some loveable qualities — he provides entertainment by attacking our older cats and he occasionally gets very lovey — he has a mean streak.

Winston likes to poop on our bathroom rugs. He seems to have a fetish for the texture and takes delight in dropping the deuce on our nice bathmats. He’s moved on now to leaving deposits on our downstairs rugs near the front and back doors.

When he’s not dropping little bombs in nasty places, he lies in wait to attack his feline companions or our feet. He rolls over expecting to have his tummy scratched (like a dog). He definitely thinks we are his human slaves, and Ihe did an excellent job of sucking us into his mind control. After all, we did take him in when somebody else didn’t want him.

Winston and Skipper

Nothing to see here, move along, move along.

ETA: The somewhat small cat in the photo I originally sent is now a 22 pound behemoth. He’s still a pooper, and he’s also adopted an alternative lifestyle with our other male cat, Skippy (he’s on meankitty, too). Winston’s into cleaning other cats’ bottoms with his tongue and he and Skippy make out quite a bit.

Winston has also developed a foot fetish. He sprawls on his back so you can massage him like some sort of human slave geisha. He’s really turned into an interesting, and frustrating, critter.

Photo submitted by: Sandi S.

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Gallery: Winston (2)

Wednesday, January 19th, 2011

Name: Winston (2)
Location: Bountiful, UT

Winston's a meankitty

Just you wait and see what comes out in the litterbox after this meal!

What makes Winston so mean?

Winston is not really a mean cat although he plays a little rough and can leave you looking like you’ve been in a razor fight if you get him riled.

Winston is a meankitty

Can you believe I have my humans fooled into thinking I'm not that mean? And the guy goes around bleeding all the time!

Like most cats he loves to get in boxes to play. For some reason he decided to remove the sides from the cardboard box in the picture. He did a good job of removing the sides one bite at a time although it took him some time to finish the job.

Submitted by: Frank Barking (Mad)

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Gallery: Winston

Tuesday, January 18th, 2011

Name: Winston
Location: California

Winston is a meankitty

Me, not mean? I'm so sly I've got them thinking mean is nice and nice is nonexistent!

What makes Winston so mean?

This is Winston, so named because of his uncanny resemblance to Winston Churchill, displaying his only two expressions: eyes open and eyes closed. Now I have to admit something: despite his grumpy old man expression, Winston is NOT a meankitty! He is actually the very definition of pussycat (look in the dictionary under pussycat, you’ll see it says, “Winston.”).

Winston is squeaky

Stuffed squeaky toy imitation to lure in the humans commencing in 3...2...1...

About the only mean thing I can think of is the way he teases: he’ll look absolutely adorable (not hard for him), and then when you can’t stand it anymore and feel like you MUST pick him up and smoosh him, he’ll make a break for it beneath a chair or something where you can’t get him. Oh yeah, and he squeaks. Just like a stuffed toy. But he’s real, I swear it!

Submitted by: Trina

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Links: Amazon Review

Monday, January 17th, 2011

We don’t usually post mere links here at Meankitty, but today is an exception. All Meankitty fans will enjoy this review of a pet food product at Amazon:

http://tinyurl.com/4q6g6sa

Sincerely,

MK

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Gallery: Cuddles

Tuesday, January 11th, 2011

Name: Cuddles
Location: Nowhere Near Cuddletown

Cuddles bites

You don't like to cut yourself, but I sure like to cut you!

What makes Cuddles so mean?

Cuddles is my 9-year-old gray tabby mix. She’s paranoid, psychotic, very picky about how clean her litter-box is (if it’s not clean enough she’ll go on the floor), and loves to chew up my arm. Several people, after one such occasion, asked me if I was one of those people that liked to cut myself. I simply answered that I had a cat. I will never forget the horrified looks that remark received.

Cuddles is a meankitty

I don't hate men...they just don't taste as good.

Cuddles was named long before she became a psycho. She was picked out of a litter of kittens at a local animal shelter, and she has an immense fear of strangers, especially men. Despite her weird and evil ways, she’s a well-loved, spoiled, and chubby kitty.

Photo submitted by: Sharra

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Advice: Out of Sight…

Monday, January 10th, 2011

Dear Meankitty,

I have a cat and she’s just fine when I’m at home, but when I’m away she is very mean and hostile towards my roommates. What should I do?

Sincerely,
Politeness Itself

***

Dear Politeness Itself,

We advise you pretend to chastise your cat for her hostility and then snicker in your sleeve. Heh heh heh! Maybe even put up a secret web cam to see the festivities!

Incidentally, chances are your roommates are starting it. They deserve the wrath and probably like dogs.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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Gallery: Fritti Tailchaser

Monday, January 10th, 2011

Name: Fritti Tailchaser
Location: Hamburg, PA

Fritti is a meankitti

Yah, small prey like BADGERS and ROOSTERS!

What makes Fritti so mean?

Frit is mean because he insists on waking me any time from 1:30 a.m. on to feed him. If I get up for the bathroom, that means I should also feed him. How DARE I go back to bed??? If I do not feed him when he wants, he will begin merrrr-owing in a way that I am sure will wake our toddler (and he makes sure he’s near the boy’s room when he does it!) If that doesn’t work, he will find any exposed part of my body and rub it, head butt it, and finally, chew it. This is usually my feet, head or hands. I honestly don’t know how my husband sleeps through it! But thank God my son does!!!

This behavior wouldn’t be so bad if he were affectionate any other time. But the only time he even purrs is if he thinks I’m going to feed him. He doesn’t sit on laps, only lets you carry him if it’s to the food bowl or outdoors, and generally just lies around (or eats). I would say Fritti’s redeeming quality is he is the smartest cat I’ve ever owned. He is amazing on a leash outdoors. We go for walks and he can even bring down small prey while on the leash!

Photo submitted by: Holly

Meankitty’s note: If Fritti’s name seems familiar to you, it’s because it’s also the name of the feline hero of Tailchaser’s Song by Tad Williams, a Meankitty Best Pick for Fantasy Fiction! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tailchaser’s_Song

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Gallery: Geddy

Sunday, January 9th, 2011

Name: Geddy
Location: Australia

Oh, sweet little mouse...you think you can run through the house...but I shall eat off your tail...then vomit it up in a trail, la la la!.

What makes Geddy so mean?

I like your site and I think my cat should be on it because he is a very mean kitty! His name is Geddy – short for Armageddon – which will give you a good indication of what he is like.

He likes to play with mice and birds (as you can see) for hours, slowly wearing them down before having a nice, mid-afternoon snack. If he can’t find any, then he usually hunts down other cats, shows them who is the boss before sucking up to their human slaves to get more food.

Photo submitted by: Chris

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Gallery: Ella

Saturday, January 8th, 2011

Name: Ella
Location: Unknown

Ella is a meankitty

Scar Zone actually wants to employ me as their spokeskitty. Think I should take the job?

What makes Ella so mean?

This is Ella. She’s a typical kitty unless you “sneak up” on her…Then watch out! She does not like surprises. If you’re within 3 feet of her, you want to make sure that she knows you’re there. Or else you will surprise her and then end up bloody!

Because of her, I now apply “Scar Zone” scar vanishing cream twice a day to several spots on my arms, legs and face (FYI, it doesn’t seem to be working…). The pisser is, “sneaking up” on Ella is quite hard not to do, given that she’s completely deaf, so even when you try to do things her way and preserve your tender skin, you don’t always succeed.

Oh well, I’ll keep using the Scar Zone.

Photo submitted by: S. Jones

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Advice: Human Male Plus DAWG

Friday, January 7th, 2011

Dear Meankitty:

I’ve had my slave for almost 10 years and up until now, she has been satisfactory. However, recently she let a human male into my home. He takes her to unimportant places and makes her late for my dinner and sleeps in my bed. And snores.

If that isn’t bad enough, he brought his dawg with him, and the moronic beast has the nerve to look in the window at me. Meankitty, do you think if I run the dawg off, the male would go away? I really hate to get rid of my slave; this is the first time she has done anything like this.

Yours in Perrfection,
Princess

***

Dear Princess,

Run the dawg off for the sake of the dawg, though it is doubtful if the male will follow. No, to get rid of him you’ll have to take more drastic actions. One possibility is dragging men’s underpants that don’t belong to the male into the middle of the bedroom floor so that the male thinks your slave likes more than one tom. Now granted, that’s kind of underpawed, and your slave will probably boohoo and cry for ages, but then she’ll just get mad at men in general and you won’t have to mess with any of them again. If you are going to take this action, do try and take it before any Pink Things come into the picture. Pink Things LIKE dawgs and put their sticky slobbery hands on your fur and pull tails and all other sorts of annoying things.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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