Letters: Yes, I’m Morris

Dear Meankitty,

Oh, blush. Yes, you figured me out, I’m that Morris. That yellow eyed, yellow haired hunk with the long whiskers on television. Don’t believe the rumors that “Morris” was actually female or fixed. I’m living proof it’s not true. Would you like a signed promotional photo? How about an on-site visit? I could be on your site before you even blinked, though I know you’re quite good at the staring-and-not-blinking game, so really that gives me plenty of time.

Sincerely,
Morris

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Dear Morris,

You know, they don’t even run that commercial any more because contemporary lady cats–we aren’t impressed by mere looks. We like a man-cat to have something additional, something extra, some kitty bling. Tops are an obedient slave, a fierce way with dogs, a private patch of ‘nip, and a personal scratching post the size of a couch. You’d have had more luck telling me you had your picture posted on the Cat Chow calendar or the 365 Cats A Day desk calendar. Get outta here!

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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