Meankitty.com

Name: Zhenya
Location: Helsinki, Finland

Mmmmmmm, sick leave!

What makes Zhenya so mean?

Don’t get me wrong: Zhenya is the most beautiful, intelligent and affectionate cat, but he is also very possessive and at times possessed! I still have a prominent scar on my left hand as a souvenir from the morning Zhenya had a fit because I was going to work and leaving him on his own for a whole day! Were it in his power I would never leave the house. I usually have to trick him by throwing a toy to the other side of the room and sneak out…

You go to work, you suffer the consequences. Actually, I want you to go because I got me a hot little tabby coming over for catnip later.

He really loves it when I’m on sick leave and in bed all day, but on the other hand he has no problem with waking me up in the middle of the night if he wants service. He drops the alarm clock to the floor, then he tries to switch the light on (he can push the switch down with his paw but can’t push it to the bottom so it only flickers irritatingly). If that doesn’t work, he pulls down the curtains by hanging from them! He is the most stubborn feline I’ve ever met and NEVER gives up.

Zhenya is a street urchin. I found him on the sidewalk during my lunch hour. He was a cute little ball of fur and when I stopped by, he climbed on my knee and started to purr so I didn’t stand a chance. I took him with me and next day went to see the vet to have him vaccinated. Though Zhenya weighed only 2 kg, it took two vets to hold him still! He’s also a bit of a daredevil.

Outside his acrobatic stunts Zhenya’s favourite activity is to drop things to the floor and he also loves to harass and torture the other cat, Hermine, who is ten years his senior. Eating is quite complicated when Zhenya’s around (and he usually is!) because he tries to steal food from eveyone’s plate!

Photo submitted by: Susanna

Name: Woozles
Location: Unknown

Hey...you gonna eat that or can I have it?

What makes Woozles so mean?

This is Woozles….alias ‘The Scourge of Shelley’, ‘Big Fat’ or just plain ‘Big Puss’ He was a stray who attached himself to us because we offered him a morsel of cheese. He is the scourge of the neighborhood – even grabbing us with his paw as we walk past him (now we know why he was dumped!) but as the picture shows he does a good job on the rat front.

Despite us finding the tattoo in his ear that indicates he is neutered, he has been spotted mounting poor innocent female cats and is extremely territorial…which is why our other cat spends most of her time up on the roof of our house, out of reach of the jumping capabilities of ‘Big Fat’. He is one big nasty cat!

Photo submitted by: Xavier

Hello,

I’m just curious, are the people that belong to this group mean to kitties? I hope not because I love them myself–it’s just your name that got my attention.

Sincerely,
Can’t-Be-Bothered-To-Visit-The-Site

***

Dear Can’t-Be,

Um, not exactly. More like the other way around!

Sincerely,
Meankitty

Name: Felix (2)
Location: NJ

I believe from this picture it's quite obvious why I had to punish the so-called groomers.

What makes Felix so mean?

I got Felix as a sick and neglected stray kitten. I cleaned him up, fed him and gave him a home. His picture is very misleading because for once his teeth are not out and trying to sink into my leg, or the couch, or the toilet paper roll. He is happiest when biting something.

He wakes me for food at 5am, knocks his water dish over, and delights in kicking his litter in a 4 ft radius around the box. This love is not only given to me, but others as well. He made quite an impression on the groomers and I am no longer allowed to return with him ( there was a lot of cursing and something about stiches.) He has endeared himself to my boyfriend by peeing in his leather shoes.

All of this activity still leaves time for the complete destruction of all my plants as well as chewing up and spitting out pieces of my bath mat.

He is a meankitty, but every once in a while Felix will hop on the bed, snuggle right up to my chest…and bite me on the chin!

Photo submitted by: Monika

Name: Harriet
Location: A Bookstore

I'm the Joan Rivers of the bookstore fashion world, and my pet peeve (ha ha, get it? pet?) is big legged pants.

What makes Harriet so mean?

Harriet is a mean cat who works in a bookstore. Well, she doesn’t actually do any work but she runs up huge vet bills and scares customers away. Harriet came from a shelter, where she acted scared and needy in order to get some sucker to take her home. She was about 18 months old and declawed. She was chosen by me (what a fool I was) along with a 3 month old kitten to be put to work catching mice. Did she tell me that she was declawed when I agreed to take her? No, of course not. She won’t even go after a cockroach, never mind a mouse.

The declawing by her original slave(s) turned Harriet mean. The extremely well done acting job she was doing at the shelter quickly faded after she settled in. She made sure that everyone knew she might not have claws, but she had teeth and she was not afraid to use them. It started out with her biting her human co-workers if they annoyed her. Then she moved on to unprovoked attacks (“Your pants legs were too swishy, and I HAD to stop them”) and finally began sampling the customers.

Harriet has refined her attacks. She will now choose her prey, walk over and fling herself down on the floor, rolling onto her back. The prey, dazzled by the patterns in her belly fur, will then stoop down to pet it. That’s when she grabs a wrist in her soft, but strong, paws and sinks her teeth in. Sometimes if the prey seems especially strong, she might follow it around for a bit making chirping noises, to weaken the prey’s defenses. When she senses an especially weak victim, or if she’s just in a bad mood, she won’t wait for them to bend down. Instead she’ll just wrap her paws around an ankle and sink her teeth in.

Harriet says that if you come into her bookstore, your pants had better not be too baggy, too swishy, bell bottoms, have strings dangling on them or be bunched up at the bottom. Your shoes must not have ridiculous Frankenstein soles that are 5″ high. If you dare to come in wearing anything described above, better make sure you have armor on under your lame pants. Harriet will take you out.

Photo submitted by: Elizabeth

Dear Meankitty,

It is obvious that you are the epitome of meanness. Apparently, the cats who own me have been reading your postings regularly. Even the kitten!! Smudge has begun to do some very rude things around the house—behind the tv, under all the beds, next to the litter box, in front of the bathtub, IN the bathtub, and even once on the kitchen counter! I have tried putting his food dish away after he eats so he doesn’t get the runs and go indiscriminately. He objected very loudly, as did the rest of the bosses.

They are also very upset that a stray un-altered male has been marking territory on their front door. In order to discourage him, they have decided to use the entryway floor for an alternative litterbox. This makes the slaves and the landlady insane!!! It also smells bad. Short of adopting this other male who sprays all over the place and should NEVER be in the house (we tried, he hates it), what should we do?

Sincerely,

Slaves to Cleo, Hobbes, and Smudge (And probably BJ if he has his way about it)
***

Dear Slaves,

You can put a litterbox in the entryway, which isn’t pretty but might help out with the “display of poo” problem. Sounds like you need to get the stray “altered”, too. Of course, it’s taken us so long to update our advice page your many cats have probably already taken care of this situation for you and BJ is ruling the roost. Or Smudge. It’s always the one you’d least expect. Either that or you’re the one living out on the porch now.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

Name: Gato
Location: PA

Hello, last time I went to the vet you cut off my no-no's, and you're confused as to why I hate vets now?

What makes Gato so mean?

Don’t let the sweet exterior fool you. True, Gato was a very sweet little stray kitten who came our way. That is, until we got him neutered.

I don’t know what went awry during the procedure, but since then he’s become a terror. He bites anyone who he’s not in the mood to deal with. He’s caused two people to get tetanus shots and been kicked out of one animal boarding house.

When it comes to veterinarian visits, he needs to be sedated for the doctors to get a handle on him (though he only weighs 8 pounds). Even then he screams, spits, and requires physical restraint in order to get his shots. His first vet was so spooked that he didn’t attempt to get near him, but he did gently recommend that we put Gato to sleep. We’ve since switched doctors.

Gato can be a good kitty, when he wants to be. I guess that’s why we’ve kept him for seven years.

Photo submitted by: Robyn

Dear Meankitty,

I’m not like the other tomcats! I’m not afraid of commitment. Look at how long I’ve been endorsing that cat food brand, 9 Lives. Talk about staying power. And my vast experience with the canned food industry has given me very sophisticated tastes. Honey, I could really wine and dine a sweet little thing like you.

So anyway, what do you say? And, um, hey. If Tom happens to drop by your window, don’t tell him I asked you out, okay?

Sincerely,
Morris

***

Dear Morris,

You expect me to believe you’re THAT Morris? Come on. Get real.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

Name: EK, or Evil Kitties
Location: Unknown

Just call me diet kitty! You'll lose weight running and hiding if you live with me.

What makes EK so mean?

This is E.K (Evil Kitties). We found her on the road. We took her into our house and took care of her. Now she is evilly insane. She killed all of our pet hamsters and fish. She hates everyone and will only be nice when she’s hungry. She scratches the dogs whenever they come too close. In fact, she hurt one of our dog’s eyes, and now the dog can’t see out of that eye. She doesn’t even get along with our other cat. EK chases the other cat away every time she tries to eat. Now the cat is very skinny, and this cat used to be obese.

I have several scars from her on my arms, just from being to close to her. EK spends her days in the back of the closet where no one can get her. She comes out to eat, then she escapes into the garage through the hole she chewed in the door. She spends about 22 hours of her day hiding, then the rest eating.

Photo submitted by: Lauren

Dear Meankitty,

I have by far one of the most evil kitties I have ever met. Any time any one walks in the room, he hisses and growls. It’s almost as if he was scared. But I am pretty sure that’s not the case. I just have to wonder, did you teach him to be a meankitty? Because I would greatly be honored to have a cat that you taught to be mean. His name is Pooh (sometimes with no “H” if you get what I mean) and he is a medium hair brown tabby.

(P.S. LOVE the site!)

Signed,
Proud Mean Kitty Owner

***

Dear Proud,

First, Pooh is miffed that you consider yourself an “owner” when any cat knows you’re nothing but a slave. I mean, who owns who in that relationship? Who buys the food? Goes off to work every day to earn the money? Cleans the house and the catbox? Gives pettings and treats? It sure as heck isn’t the cat.

Second, no, I didn’t teach Pooh because I’m not a qualified SOHC instructor, alas. They get good pay but they have to be able to travel. Which I can’t because I have yet to master doorknobs.

Sincerely,
Meankitty