Archive for November, 2010

Gallery: Zhenya

Tuesday, November 30th, 2010

Name: Zhenya
Location: Helsinki, Finland

Zhenya is a meankitty

Mmmmmmm, sick leave!

What makes Zhenya so mean?

Don’t get me wrong: Zhenya is the most beautiful, intelligent and affectionate cat, but he is also very possessive and at times possessed! I still have a prominent scar on my left hand as a souvenir from the morning Zhenya had a fit because I was going to work and leaving him on his own for a whole day! Were it in his power I would never leave the house. I usually have to trick him by throwing a toy to the other side of the room and sneak out…

Zhenya is a meankitty

You go to work, you suffer the consequences. Actually, I want you to go because I got me a hot little tabby coming over for catnip later.

He really loves it when I’m on sick leave and in bed all day, but on the other hand he has no problem with waking me up in the middle of the night if he wants service. He drops the alarm clock to the floor, then he tries to switch the light on (he can push the switch down with his paw but can’t push it to the bottom so it only flickers irritatingly). If that doesn’t work, he pulls down the curtains by hanging from them! He is the most stubborn feline I’ve ever met and NEVER gives up.

Zhenya is a street urchin. I found him on the sidewalk during my lunch hour. He was a cute little ball of fur and when I stopped by, he climbed on my knee and started to purr so I didn’t stand a chance. I took him with me and next day went to see the vet to have him vaccinated. Though Zhenya weighed only 2 kg, it took two vets to hold him still! He’s also a bit of a daredevil.

Outside his acrobatic stunts Zhenya’s favourite activity is to drop things to the floor and he also loves to harass and torture the other cat, Hermine, who is ten years his senior. Eating is quite complicated when Zhenya’s around (and he usually is!) because he tries to steal food from eveyone’s plate!

Photo submitted by: Susanna

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Letters: Are You Mean People?

Sunday, November 28th, 2010

Hello,

I’m just curious, are the people that belong to this group mean to kitties? I hope not because I love them myself–it’s just your name that got my attention.

Sincerely,
Can’t-Be-Bothered-To-Visit-The-Site

***

Dear Can’t-Be,

Um, not exactly. More like the other way around!

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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Gallery: Felix (2)

Sunday, November 28th, 2010

Name: Felix (2)
Location: NJ

Felix is a meankitty.

I believe from this picture it's quite obvious why I had to punish the so-called groomers.

What makes Felix so mean?

I got Felix as a sick and neglected stray kitten. I cleaned him up, fed him and gave him a home. His picture is very misleading because for once his teeth are not out and trying to sink into my leg, or the couch, or the toilet paper roll. He is happiest when biting something.

He wakes me for food at 5am, knocks his water dish over, and delights in kicking his litter in a 4 ft radius around the box. This love is not only given to me, but others as well. He made quite an impression on the groomers and I am no longer allowed to return with him ( there was a lot of cursing and something about stiches.) He has endeared himself to my boyfriend by peeing in his leather shoes.

All of this activity still leaves time for the complete destruction of all my plants as well as chewing up and spitting out pieces of my bath mat.

He is a meankitty, but every once in a while Felix will hop on the bed, snuggle right up to my chest…and bite me on the chin!

Photo submitted by: Monika

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Advice: Display of Poo

Friday, November 26th, 2010

Dear Meankitty,

It is obvious that you are the epitome of meanness. Apparently, the cats who own me have been reading your postings regularly. Even the kitten!! Smudge has begun to do some very rude things around the house—behind the tv, under all the beds, next to the litter box, in front of the bathtub, IN the bathtub, and even once on the kitchen counter! I have tried putting his food dish away after he eats so he doesn’t get the runs and go indiscriminately. He objected very loudly, as did the rest of the bosses.

They are also very upset that a stray un-altered male has been marking territory on their front door. In order to discourage him, they have decided to use the entryway floor for an alternative litterbox. This makes the slaves and the landlady insane!!! It also smells bad. Short of adopting this other male who sprays all over the place and should NEVER be in the house (we tried, he hates it), what should we do?

Sincerely,

Slaves to Cleo, Hobbes, and Smudge (And probably BJ if he has his way about it)
***

Dear Slaves,

You can put a litterbox in the entryway, which isn’t pretty but might help out with the “display of poo” problem. Sounds like you need to get the stray “altered”, too. Of course, it’s taken us so long to update our advice page your many cats have probably already taken care of this situation for you and BJ is ruling the roost. Or Smudge. It’s always the one you’d least expect. Either that or you’re the one living out on the porch now.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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Gallery: Gato

Friday, November 26th, 2010

Name: Gato
Location: PA

Gato is a meankitty

Hello, last time I went to the vet you cut off my no-no's, and you're confused as to why I hate vets now?

What makes Gato so mean?

Don’t let the sweet exterior fool you. True, Gato was a very sweet little stray kitten who came our way. That is, until we got him neutered.

I don’t know what went awry during the procedure, but since then he’s become a terror. He bites anyone who he’s not in the mood to deal with. He’s caused two people to get tetanus shots and been kicked out of one animal boarding house.

When it comes to veterinarian visits, he needs to be sedated for the doctors to get a handle on him (though he only weighs 8 pounds). Even then he screams, spits, and requires physical restraint in order to get his shots. His first vet was so spooked that he didn’t attempt to get near him, but he did gently recommend that we put Gato to sleep. We’ve since switched doctors.

Gato can be a good kitty, when he wants to be. I guess that’s why we’ve kept him for seven years.

Photo submitted by: Robyn

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Letters: Not Like Tom

Thursday, November 25th, 2010

Dear Meankitty,

I’m not like the other tomcats! I’m not afraid of commitment. Look at how long I’ve been endorsing that cat food brand, 9 Lives. Talk about staying power. And my vast experience with the canned food industry has given me very sophisticated tastes. Honey, I could really wine and dine a sweet little thing like you.

So anyway, what do you say? And, um, hey. If Tom happens to drop by your window, don’t tell him I asked you out, okay?

Sincerely,
Morris

***

Dear Morris,

You expect me to believe you’re THAT Morris? Come on. Get real.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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Gallery: EK

Wednesday, November 24th, 2010

Name: EK, or Evil Kitties
Location: Unknown

EK is a meankitty

Just call me diet kitty! You'll lose weight running and hiding if you live with me.

What makes EK so mean?

This is E.K (Evil Kitties). We found her on the road. We took her into our house and took care of her. Now she is evilly insane. She killed all of our pet hamsters and fish. She hates everyone and will only be nice when she’s hungry. She scratches the dogs whenever they come too close. In fact, she hurt one of our dog’s eyes, and now the dog can’t see out of that eye. She doesn’t even get along with our other cat. EK chases the other cat away every time she tries to eat. Now the cat is very skinny, and this cat used to be obese.

I have several scars from her on my arms, just from being to close to her. EK spends her days in the back of the closet where no one can get her. She comes out to eat, then she escapes into the garage through the hole she chewed in the door. She spends about 22 hours of her day hiding, then the rest eating.

Photo submitted by: Lauren

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Advice: Who Owns Who?

Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010

Dear Meankitty,

I have by far one of the most evil kitties I have ever met. Any time any one walks in the room, he hisses and growls. It’s almost as if he was scared. But I am pretty sure that’s not the case. I just have to wonder, did you teach him to be a meankitty? Because I would greatly be honored to have a cat that you taught to be mean. His name is Pooh (sometimes with no “H” if you get what I mean) and he is a medium hair brown tabby.

(P.S. LOVE the site!)

Signed,
Proud Mean Kitty Owner

***

Dear Proud,

First, Pooh is miffed that you consider yourself an “owner” when any cat knows you’re nothing but a slave. I mean, who owns who in that relationship? Who buys the food? Goes off to work every day to earn the money? Cleans the house and the catbox? Gives pettings and treats? It sure as heck isn’t the cat.

Second, no, I didn’t teach Pooh because I’m not a qualified SOHC instructor, alas. They get good pay but they have to be able to travel. Which I can’t because I have yet to master doorknobs.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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Advice: Licky the Dog

Monday, November 22nd, 2010

Dear Meankitty,

My name is Mufasa (I am a big orange long haired tabby) and I have a terrible problem. My slave brought home this big smelly male human about 8 years ago when I was just a wee kitty. I didn’t really pay him any “never you mind”, but I didn’t like him either. Since his arrival I have been…well you know…I cant even say it….the N word! I’ve also been moved all over the country and had to share my slave. I am very protective of her and he says that I stalk her!! HmMPH!! She was put here for me to lounge on, sleep next to and order around. That’s why I picked her! I knew she was a soft-hearted pushover cat-worshipper.

I have done all I can think of to rid my self of The Mean Man. I’ve peed on his clothes, hunted his socks to extinction, destroyed the majority of the expensive furniture he has bought, left scars on him, and ignored his relentless hounding and kitty bribes such as table food and catnip (ok! not the nip but I don’t acknowledge he exists afterwards). Now he has taken to LICKING my forehead! It is very hard to get rid of his scent! OHH will it ever cease? Please help! I am beside myself and have taken to riding on my slave’s shoulders to stay away from him! I am but a mere 17 lbs but my slave says I make her neck hurt. What else can I do??

Many catnip mouses to you,
Mufasa =^..^=

***

Dear Muf,

Put some poop on your forehead. Next time he licks it, you’ll have a really good laugh. And don’t feel bad for taking the nip. Accepting a bribe doesn’t mean you have to cooperate in any way, shape or form. It’s in the SOHC contract.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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Advice: What’s Wrong with Biting?

Wednesday, November 17th, 2010

Dear Meankitty,

I enjoy sitting in my servant’s lap and purring, just to get them going, then I bite them! This really seems to bug them. Why? I’m just getting comfy, and then I get this urge to bite…what’s with this?

From,
Pink-nosed-kitten (Queen of the house)

***

Dear Pink-nose,

Haven’t you heard the old nursery rhyme?

A kitten with a black nose jumps on the lumpy.
A kitten with a pink nose bites when she’s comfy.
A kitten with a white nose ignores when you ask her to stop biting,
But the kitten with my nose I love best of all.

This probably doesn’t help, but I had fun writing it.

Signed,
Meankitty

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