Archive for July, 2010

Advice: More Screens in Peril

Saturday, July 31st, 2010

Dear Meankitty,

I have a 4 year old black male cat that won’t stay off the screens of our storm doors. Because of this he is tearing the screens to pieces and I don’t want to replace them again (I just replaced them all last week). Any help would be appreciated.

Signed,
Dave

***

Dear Dave,

One option would be to get your darling kitty his own screen door to climb. He obviously enjoys that and I fully believe cats should be able to do whatever they enjoy. If you think that idea is bogus, check out my advice to Door Killer’s Owner. You can put sticky paws on screens as well as screen guards.

Signed,
Meankitty

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Gallery: Cairo (2)

Saturday, July 31st, 2010
Cairo the biter

Well, you ARE a piece of meat.

Name: Cairo (2)
Location: Unknown

What makes Cairo so mean?

She’s my baby but she can be VERY mean. She gets too excited and goes nuts and starts attacking you like you’re a piece of meat. And she doesn’t just attack your legs or something, she goes for exposed skin. Her favorite spot to bite is the back of your arm where the flesh is nice and tender. She also regularly bites my face. She’s bitten every person who’s ever come into our house, including my 2 year old nephew.

Photo submitted by: Melanie

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Gallery: Zeerox

Saturday, July 31st, 2010

Name: Zeerox
Location: Dallas, The Netherlands

Zeerox is maybe a meankitty

I don't think being angry about this qualifies me for Meankitty. Somebody please put me on the Nicekitty site! I'm so sweet I didn't deserve this!

What makes Zeerox so mean?

He gets really mad when I dip him for fleas and does bad things.

Photo submitted by: Myranya

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Links: Kitty Rock Band

Friday, July 30th, 2010

Dear Meankitty,

I checked out your site and I dig it. I have a cartoon site with a link you may want to put on your cat site. http://www.eyeenvision.com  It’s my cat’s band.

Thanks,
MAT

***

Dear MAT,

We visited your site and jammed to the litterbox tunes. Then we had nightmares.

Sincerely,
Meankitty, Typing Slave & her housemate D

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Gallery: Wahoo

Friday, July 30th, 2010

Name: Wahoo
Location: Unknown

Wahoo is a meankitty

Where to bite...where to bite...so many prominent human features that need to be scaled down to cat size!

What makes Wahoo so mean?

We found Wahoo when he was approximately 8 weeks old on a walk. It was early morning and still dark outside. We heard him cry and he came running up to my boyfriend Randy. He followed us as we walked around a track and when we were done, it started to rain and we felt it was destiny that brought him to us.

In reality it was some family that couldn’t care for him and dumped him in the park.

Anyway, Wahoo can bark like a dog and play hide and seek. He is a terrific pouncer and can rip anyone a new (you know what) in a millisecond. He loves Randy but has a problem with me. I find it hard to set boundaries and I end up laughing when he attacks me. He is a gorgeous cat with a horrible disposition.

Photo submitted by: Anne

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Advice: Jumper

Friday, July 30th, 2010

Dear Meankitty,

We are moving soon and we are going to be in a third floor apartment. If we let the cats out on the balcony, will they jump off?

Signed,
Heather

***

Dear Heather,

I used to jump off a second story balcony before my Human Typing Slave adopted me. It was because I wasn’t being given enough food by my former Human and I had to go searching for more. Plus I’m a little stinker.

Put collars with your phone number on your kitties. Then all you can do is wait and see how “stinky” or hungry they think they are. They will want very badly to get onto the porch if you deny it to them, I can promise you that, and eventually they will manage it.

Signed,
Meankitty Houdini

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Gallery: Violent Bob

Friday, July 30th, 2010

Name: Violent Bob
Location: Bristol, England

Violent Bob is violent

Blood looks so striking and artistic on my white, white fur.

What makes Bob so mean?

Bob, when this photo was taken, was only eight weeks old but showing every sign of living up to his moniker. His favorite activities? Drawing blood and biting the ears of his brother Vic, sometimes simultaneously. He also loves clawing my back.

Photo submitted by: Jim

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Advice: Indoor Kitties

Thursday, July 29th, 2010

Dear Meankitty,

I was just wondering if you could give me some advice. I would like to get kitten soon as I know I could give one a loving home and a lot of affection. The only thing that worries me is I live in a flat near a main road and would like the cat to become a house cat and not go out.  I have asked many people and they have said its ok, but I feel it might be cruel on the cat.  I don’t want to go ahead with having one if its cruel to keep it in. Is it ok for the cat to be kept permanently indoors?

Signed,
Not-yet-cat-hairy Claire

***

Dear Claire,

It is ok.  I live indoors and I’m the happiest, albeit feistiest, cat you could ever hope to meet.  Just give the new cat lots of tuna.  Why?  Cats like tuna.  You can also grow your cat some free range grass to give her a taste of outdoors since she is barred from that place.  Why?  Cats like to eat grass and puke.  And you shouldn’t deny them that pleasure.

Signed,
Meankitty

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Gallery: Una

Thursday, July 29th, 2010

Name: Una Noel Shabooboo
Location: CO

Una and Dog

Meeeeeeee and my shadow! Whom I like to beat.

What makes Una so mean?

We have a couple cats that certainly fit the Meankitty bill. However, one of them rises like curdle cream to the surface. Our beloved Una Noel Shabooboo showed up at our farm on Christmas eve several years ago. I took her in and found her a home. The home was in fact a rabid cesspool of familial dysfunction.

Una and Books

My yoga instructor calls this one Melted Cat, No Bull

So I brought her home to live with our 20 pound Buddha cat, Grendel (the name does not begin to describe his laid back zen attitude – he truly is a hairy little buddha). She proceeded to beat the crap out of him. Did I mention she only weighed 2 pounds?

I am the crazy cat lady with the invisible homeless cat magnet. Over the years we have had numerous kittens show up on our doorsteps. While the kittens are still young (under 1 year of age), Una dotes on them. Once they hit a year, she begins a merciless program of beatings and torment. It’s really quite horrifying to behold. She even drove one cat out of the house to be consumed by a great horned owl (sad story… let’s not go into details).

Una the Meankitty

Actually I'm not sensitive to static electricity, I just think humans smell funny and don't want them rubbing on my beauteous fur.

She absolutely refuses to be touched unless you’ve just stepped out of the shower. We’ve determined that she is highly sensitive to static electricity and the only time you don’t shock her is when you are wet. We live in the high desert of SW Colorado so that don’t happen too often. She wants nothing to do with human contact and also routinely kicks the dogs’ butts. Even the horses don’t mess with her. She is tiny with these hideously white claws that gleam out of her velvety black paws. And she gives no warning. She can be sleeping peacefully and you simply walk by and her obsidian claws of death wreak havoc upon your defenseless flesh.

Photo submitted by: Krista and Flint

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Gallery: T (Ms. not Mr.)

Thursday, July 29th, 2010

Name: T
Location: Philly

T is a meankitty

Actually I quit peeing on the rugs, walls and radiators when those jerks were no longer around to blame it on.

What makes T so mean?

T doesn’t pee on the rugs, walls, radiators and, occasionally, me – that was the two boys who now live outside. She doesn’t lurk in the closet to leap out on the other cat and any misplaced humans who might want to go from their bedroom to the bathroom. Instead, she howls at night from the top of the stairs hoping we’ll encourage her to run past the closet door in which the *other* cat (my partner’s) might be lurking.

She doesn’t drink from our water glasses, nor does she attack human toes – see “cat, other” above

She does flinch and run when my partner tries to pick her up, which happens eleventy times a day because my partner forgets T is not to be picked up – and also bounces down the stairs, jumps around and is generally scary. [Meankitty's note: I am unsure if Cheryl is referencing T or her partner with the stair bouncing and general scariness. Probably T but it's more amusing to think it's her partner.] T isn’t being mean; we suspect she has an abuse history before she adopted me.

T’s primary claim to meankittiness is this: she has learned the one paw from the official mean kitty. And she uses it … continuously … when we’re in bed … sleeping … or otherwise occupied.

Photo submitted by: Cheryl

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