Archive for March, 2010

Advice: Places to Puke

Sunday, March 7th, 2010

Dear Meankitty,

Have you ever thrown up on a tile floor, covered it with a piece of newspaper and watched as your slaves slip and fall? Do it in the early in the morning before your slave gets the hot brown stink water and position it so he has to step on it to get to the light switch. After he slips–run! Go in the bathroom, stretch out on the towels you pulled down from the rack and look innocent. Good fun!

Signed,
Teevors, ZsaZsa, Chee, the Lady Di and Jake

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Dear Manycats,

Sounds like you could be writing advice on this site! Those of you who are visiting here looking for SOHC tips to annoy your humans, that’s a good one.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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Advice: Cat Fur Physics

Sunday, March 7th, 2010

Dear Meankitty,

Please explain the physics behind cat fur and why it doesn’t making sitting in sun spots and other warm areas uncomfortable.

Sincerely,
A Smart Alec Human That Is Trying to Stump You

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Dear Stump,

Dude, I’m not allowed to tell you that! Don’t you know anything about the SOHC?

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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Advice: Cat Thrones

Sunday, March 7th, 2010

Dear Meankitty,

I am going to make my kitty a proper throne (cat bed) because my own bed is not worthy. What do you think is the best fabric to make it from? Should it be velvet of faux fur? Or something even better?

Rao,
Crafty Slave

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Dear Crafty,

It all depends. What color is your cat? Choose a contrasting fabric so the hair will show up better. Fuzzy fabrics are also greatly appreciated, like the fuzzy blanket D likes to, um, “embrace” whenever he can’t get his paws on me. Yeah, I know, he’s supposed to be fixed, but I’m so sleek and cute I think I reinvigorate the most snipped of toms. At least, that’s been my experience. But back to this throne. Contrasting fuzzy fabric. Right.

Also, if you’re making a kitty throne because you want the kitty off your bed, it won’t work. Beds is beds.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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Test Cat

Saturday, March 6th, 2010

Name: Centered Cat
Location: In the middle of the page

Meankitty in a chair

Meankitty is in the most annoying high chair in the world.

What makes Test Cat so mean?

Because that is a picture of Meankitty and she is very mean. She didn’t eat the baby or anything, though.

Photo submitted by: Typing Slave

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